Your brain will offer you unhelpful thoughts. ALL the time.
“If I can perfect it, I can control it, and then I don’t need to trust it.”
This thought tumbled out of my mouth one day when I was being coached and I want to share it with you because so many of you think the same way.
And it’s not a helpful way to think for either of us.
Because it’s evidence of how, even after you’ve created some success in one are of your life, your brain keeps offering you thoughts that don’t serve you.
It’s what human brains do. It’s not a sign that something is wrong with yours.
This leads me to the feeling of trust, which was my word of the year for 2021.
Trust is the antidote to perfectionist thinking
Do you choose a word of the year?
I find it a helpful tool to keep me on track working towards something I want to change in my life.
Here’s an example:
I’ve always been a self-described “control freak”. Never a rule breaker, not someone who left much to chance.
Now I know that my old thoughts about control, perfectionism, and black and white thinking about everything just supported my insomnia. For decades.
I was so wrapped up in feeling out of control that I didn’t even remember I could trust my body to know how to sleep.
How I learned perfectionism was keeping me awake
To trust myself more, I had to learn to stop giving an audience to those old, garbage thoughts every time they demanded to be heard.
I worked on seeing them for what they really were – FEAR.
Fear of failure, fear of not doing something right, fear of not being right.
Every one of those fears popped up as soon as I lay down in bed and everything got quiet at night.
My mind would start a negative thoughts party all about the things I wasn’t very good at.
And it was a list that had sleep right at the very top.
Feeling fearful and thinking I wasn’t a good sleeper created a self-fulfilling prophecy that became true. And pretty soon, I was dealing with a vicious cycle of negative thoughts and poor sleep.
And the worse it got, the harder I tried to resolve the problem. I wondered if maybe I would never get my sleep problem under control.
How trust helped me sleep
Eventually I learned to catch thoughts like that and see them for what they created – fear.
At the same time, I learned to trust that my body would remember how to sleep if I could just get out of my own way.
And that’s when quality, healthy sleep showed up.
I’m still learning how to use this trust experiment in other areas of my life, now that I’ve learned how freeing it is to not believe I’m holding the weight of the world on my shoulders.
If any of this sounds familiar, reach out (click here to book a call) and book a free call with me to talk about your sleep. I’ll share how I can help you find your way out of the negative thoughts/insomnia cycle.
I look forward to meeting you 🙂