A common reason women give for not joining my program, Permission To Sleep, is that they think it’ll be too hard to change their habits.
It feels like work and who wants more work after they’ve worked all day?
I get it.
Your brain really don’t like effort. It doesn’t want to expend useless energy. It wants you to find the easiest possible answer every time, which is usually what you’re already doing.
It’s also the answer that leads to more insomnia.
But what if the life you’re living right now is just as hard (or harder!) as learning to sleep well, it’s just the version of hard you’re used to? The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, in other words.
If you’re struggling with insomnia, you’re probably pretty used to feeling like hot garbage all day. You may not even remember what it feels like to sleep well.
You might be accustomed to feeling emotionally out of sorts and find it easy to get upset over small things.
You probably wish all the things you’ve tried to sleep better had worked so you could stop thinking about this all the time.
How do you choose between two hard options?
If I’m right that it’s possible for you to sleep better, and you just have to choose that work over the hard circumstances you’re living in now, how do you convince your brain to try?
Because I know your brain is fighting you on this. I’ve been there.
Here’s the secret: when two things feel hard or undesirable, choose the one with the outcome you want.
What you’re doing is already hard!
You’re already using extra energy you don’t have on worry and trying harder to sleep. And it’s not getting you anything but more insomnia.
If your reason for giving up on resolving insomnia is that it’ll be too hard, really consider that all you’re doing is recommitting to the hard you already know.
If two options feel hard, choose the one that gets you the results you want.
You might think, “But I’ve tried other things that promised the result I want and they didn’t work!”
That might be true. It’s one of the big problems in the sleep “industry” – promises like putting crystals on your bedside table for better sleep just aren’t founded in evidence.
But let’s pretend they work for some people but not you for a second. If you just give up, you’re still resigning yourself to a life of discomfort without good sleep.
And we’ve already established that’s not the result you want so what’s the point of sticking with this course of action?
And that thinking it’s going to be hard is actually what’s going to make it hard?
Self-fulfilling prophecies like this show up a lot in insomnia recovery and stress management coaching.
But like any thoughts, you don’t have to keep believing them unless you want to.
You’re already choosing for this to be hard.
Why not consider something else might be true?
Isn’t quality sleep and feeling well-rested worth it?
If you’re ready to try something new, that’s evidence based and supportive, check out my sleep coaching membership Permission To Sleep. It’s specifically designed to help midlife women like you who’ve tried “everything”. And it’s open all the time so it’s there when YOU need it. More details on how to join in this link.